Well Hank, rest assured, you're NOT alone. You've got plenty of company; like, the entire human race! Life is a buckin' bronco and we're all hangin' on by the skin of our teeth. So snuggle into the club and thanks for validating your membership, my dearest Hank.
Hank, you don’t give yourself enough credit. Thank you for your newsletter & your honest words. And thank you for your cooking advice & experiences. Sharing them all is what makes you, you.
Keep on keeping on, my friend. We’re all in this together & becuase if you, we’ll eat much better! 👊
I am basically a rural Texas good old boy. I am a culinary disciple of yours because you are a good writer and a hell of a cook. We humans need to work at being a little less tribal.
Having my coffee before the day starts, I am stunned. My hand may appear steady but I tremble inside as I momentarily identify and confront my own masks, of which there are more than a few.
Rarely does one read a piece so full of insight or courage, to read one that is brimming over with both puts a topspin on my mind and soul.
Well done, sir. Bravely, poignantly, incisively, and thoughtfully done.
Powerful words for certain. I am recently retired after a very successful forty-year career doing work I truly enjoyed, yet I have never been able to shake the “Imposter Syndrome”. I felt as if I’d been good at fooling people into thinking I was an expert - and maybe I was, but I also know how much I don’t know and this kept me humble and always on the search to know more. Many of us are chameleons in our public lives, putting on a different mask to blend in with whatever group or individual we are interacting with. You are right on the mark that eventually the mask becomes the man. I relish the time I have with myself as my only judge, deeply involved in one of the hundreds of interests I now have the time to pursue. It’s those times that I know who I am - moderately skilled, imperfect, and happy despite my imperfections. The need to fit in isn’t something to be overly concerned about, it’s in our DNA. Without the ability to think like the tribe or family group or hunting party we wouldn’t have been able to survive. Independence was not an option in our evolutionary history. I for one, look up to you as someone that can do the things I can’t, someone that knows things I don’t know. No one is another persons superior, only differently skilled - an equal. Keep doing what you do Hank, you’re great at it. No matter what your inner voice may be saying.
True transparency is what brings us into closer friendships, clearer insights, and peace within ourselves. When we are consistent in word, deed, and thought we gain integrity, we are integrated within our community. Otherwise we risk disintegration of ourselves and within our community.
Your words have more power for me than the coffee steaming in my cup. We all wear masks every day. It is a part of the human condition. Whether during my career as a classroom teacher, my efforts as a hunter or even as a dad, I too feel the eyes of the world looking to see if today is the day I am discovered as 'not measuring up.' I'm frequently wondering if others see me as not quite fitting in.
Over the years I have read about what motivations drive us. For some it's money, others, power, but for me its always been acceptance. That stupid voice in my head which has repeatedly jabbed, "Will anyone, or everyone call me out for not really belonging to the group I currently existing in?". I think we all do it to some extent.
Over the years I have come to realize that we can and do fit in when we accept that we will never be or have all that is 'required' to be us, or to do whatever it is that we do everyday. Maybe the trick is to just be authentic; to not hide behind our material wealth, our brand names or our extensive experiences and realize and accept that as humans we are ahead of some and behind others on our path through life.
I'm not perfect. But I try to just be me and let others live their life as best they can. I know I was an effective teacher. I really enjoy everything about being a hunter. My wife and kids still love me even though I am not 'The best Dad in the world' as the cup says.
I'm taking off my writer's mask now so I don't trip on the stairs as I head up to make some breakfast and do my best to enjoy my day.
Thank you for your brave words this morning Hank. I too live with them.
PS. I hope my Asado de Puerco turns out as good as yours.
Well, congratulations on letting others into your world for a bit. Thank you. Welcome to the human race; as imperfect as we all are!
Oh, and by the way, I didn't sign up for your culinary duck hunt to be in the glowing presence of a ballyhooed Michelin Star chef. I just want to go hunting with a regular guy who knows what its like to go afield, harvest a bird or catch a fish, bring it home and prepare it creatively and thoughtfully; fully appreciating the entire experience. No mask required.😊
Thank you for sharing Hank, so well said. I can certainly relate with the mask wearing, did it for years to make a living, explore who I wanted to be..or not, etc. I’m still discovering masks. We are all perfectly imperfect. Life is a journey & you never know where you’re lessons may come from…but you are gaining awareness within yourself about the masks. Thank you for sharing as it helps the rest of us too. I greatly appreciate your bravery & authenticity to share this. Keep exploring.
Yeah, I get the thing about masks. Imposter syndrome is a big part of the culture of academia I live in, and it's toxic as hell. In pretty much any environment, I oscillate between 'not giving a shit' and being very insecure about not fitting in - very much 'giving a shit'. Age helps. My shrink tells me the 'blurting out' of the inappropriate is a bog-standard anxiety response - it lowers stress in the moment, at the cost of longer term regret. This behaviour pattern also assures that I can never stand for political office, which is somewhat of a relief.
I admire what you're doing , business wise. How you build a financial and personal life is your own business. That said, developing a way to keep the lights on and the bills paid and at same time as helping to build a community seems so much more fulfilling than the all-consuming treadmills of kitchen (or in my case, academic) culture. I like when I see people doing this - such as my local chef turned artisan butcher, or a Michelin starred chef turning outdoor food producer. These are good examples for others to model how to live and build a community ... even for the athletic mountain hunter with 0.0001% body fat, or the paunchy academic late onset hunter.
THIS. This is why when I see a post in my inbox I stop what I'm doing to read it. I can't imagine there is a person who this doesn't resonate with on some level. Certainly hits home for me. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Hear! Hear! Another beautiful compared News letter! Thank you
Well Hank, rest assured, you're NOT alone. You've got plenty of company; like, the entire human race! Life is a buckin' bronco and we're all hangin' on by the skin of our teeth. So snuggle into the club and thanks for validating your membership, my dearest Hank.
Hank, you don’t give yourself enough credit. Thank you for your newsletter & your honest words. And thank you for your cooking advice & experiences. Sharing them all is what makes you, you.
Keep on keeping on, my friend. We’re all in this together & becuase if you, we’ll eat much better! 👊
I am basically a rural Texas good old boy. I am a culinary disciple of yours because you are a good writer and a hell of a cook. We humans need to work at being a little less tribal.
Having my coffee before the day starts, I am stunned. My hand may appear steady but I tremble inside as I momentarily identify and confront my own masks, of which there are more than a few.
Rarely does one read a piece so full of insight or courage, to read one that is brimming over with both puts a topspin on my mind and soul.
Well done, sir. Bravely, poignantly, incisively, and thoughtfully done.
Extremely well said!
You sound pretty "normal" to me. If you don't know what normal means, you're not alone in that, either.
Powerful words for certain. I am recently retired after a very successful forty-year career doing work I truly enjoyed, yet I have never been able to shake the “Imposter Syndrome”. I felt as if I’d been good at fooling people into thinking I was an expert - and maybe I was, but I also know how much I don’t know and this kept me humble and always on the search to know more. Many of us are chameleons in our public lives, putting on a different mask to blend in with whatever group or individual we are interacting with. You are right on the mark that eventually the mask becomes the man. I relish the time I have with myself as my only judge, deeply involved in one of the hundreds of interests I now have the time to pursue. It’s those times that I know who I am - moderately skilled, imperfect, and happy despite my imperfections. The need to fit in isn’t something to be overly concerned about, it’s in our DNA. Without the ability to think like the tribe or family group or hunting party we wouldn’t have been able to survive. Independence was not an option in our evolutionary history. I for one, look up to you as someone that can do the things I can’t, someone that knows things I don’t know. No one is another persons superior, only differently skilled - an equal. Keep doing what you do Hank, you’re great at it. No matter what your inner voice may be saying.
Preach it Hank.
True transparency is what brings us into closer friendships, clearer insights, and peace within ourselves. When we are consistent in word, deed, and thought we gain integrity, we are integrated within our community. Otherwise we risk disintegration of ourselves and within our community.
Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
Good Morning Hank,
Your words have more power for me than the coffee steaming in my cup. We all wear masks every day. It is a part of the human condition. Whether during my career as a classroom teacher, my efforts as a hunter or even as a dad, I too feel the eyes of the world looking to see if today is the day I am discovered as 'not measuring up.' I'm frequently wondering if others see me as not quite fitting in.
Over the years I have read about what motivations drive us. For some it's money, others, power, but for me its always been acceptance. That stupid voice in my head which has repeatedly jabbed, "Will anyone, or everyone call me out for not really belonging to the group I currently existing in?". I think we all do it to some extent.
Over the years I have come to realize that we can and do fit in when we accept that we will never be or have all that is 'required' to be us, or to do whatever it is that we do everyday. Maybe the trick is to just be authentic; to not hide behind our material wealth, our brand names or our extensive experiences and realize and accept that as humans we are ahead of some and behind others on our path through life.
I'm not perfect. But I try to just be me and let others live their life as best they can. I know I was an effective teacher. I really enjoy everything about being a hunter. My wife and kids still love me even though I am not 'The best Dad in the world' as the cup says.
I'm taking off my writer's mask now so I don't trip on the stairs as I head up to make some breakfast and do my best to enjoy my day.
Thank you for your brave words this morning Hank. I too live with them.
PS. I hope my Asado de Puerco turns out as good as yours.
Well, congratulations on letting others into your world for a bit. Thank you. Welcome to the human race; as imperfect as we all are!
Oh, and by the way, I didn't sign up for your culinary duck hunt to be in the glowing presence of a ballyhooed Michelin Star chef. I just want to go hunting with a regular guy who knows what its like to go afield, harvest a bird or catch a fish, bring it home and prepare it creatively and thoughtfully; fully appreciating the entire experience. No mask required.😊
I am stunned reading this - In a good way. You are definitely not alone! (As usual) you've put things so simply yet eloquently. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing Hank, so well said. I can certainly relate with the mask wearing, did it for years to make a living, explore who I wanted to be..or not, etc. I’m still discovering masks. We are all perfectly imperfect. Life is a journey & you never know where you’re lessons may come from…but you are gaining awareness within yourself about the masks. Thank you for sharing as it helps the rest of us too. I greatly appreciate your bravery & authenticity to share this. Keep exploring.
It was fantastic to meet you last week, Hank!
Yeah, I get the thing about masks. Imposter syndrome is a big part of the culture of academia I live in, and it's toxic as hell. In pretty much any environment, I oscillate between 'not giving a shit' and being very insecure about not fitting in - very much 'giving a shit'. Age helps. My shrink tells me the 'blurting out' of the inappropriate is a bog-standard anxiety response - it lowers stress in the moment, at the cost of longer term regret. This behaviour pattern also assures that I can never stand for political office, which is somewhat of a relief.
I admire what you're doing , business wise. How you build a financial and personal life is your own business. That said, developing a way to keep the lights on and the bills paid and at same time as helping to build a community seems so much more fulfilling than the all-consuming treadmills of kitchen (or in my case, academic) culture. I like when I see people doing this - such as my local chef turned artisan butcher, or a Michelin starred chef turning outdoor food producer. These are good examples for others to model how to live and build a community ... even for the athletic mountain hunter with 0.0001% body fat, or the paunchy academic late onset hunter.
Hank Shaw is my Hero!!!
THIS. This is why when I see a post in my inbox I stop what I'm doing to read it. I can't imagine there is a person who this doesn't resonate with on some level. Certainly hits home for me. Thank you so much for sharing this.