As a person also who crosses traditional lines, (Liberal gun owner, stay-at-home feminist, Tesla driving hunter) I get judged a lot for who I'm not, but I think being a square peg in a round hole gives one the ability to reflect on those lines. There is value in being witness to being judged; You know you're living your true life, following your heart, doing you, if you find yourself in places you don't quite fit. Being all of one kind of thing is super boring. Better to be a little of everything, or rather, part of many things. You're right that all we can do is try, and try again, not to judge. The "Us V. Them" mentality is still prevalent, and will remain so the more we embrace it. Important to practice (and repeatedly remind ourselves to practice) compassion and empathy.
I’ve experienced this from both sides. While the wrong uniform will automatically get you side eye (think the comedy club people at a sporting clays shoot), the right one gains an assumed solidarity. I’ve had people share some vile political takes just because I’m wearing a Beretta vest with an O/U on my shoulder. Opinions they’d have kept to themselves in another social setting, I hope. And they certainly are not the majority by any stretch. Having feet planted in more than one tribe grants a perspective I’d not get otherwise. And multiple perspectives are good thing, even when I vehemently disagree with them.
I find myself dressing slightly counter to the crowd of the event I'm going to. More Cotopaxi if it's a hunting event, maybe a Teddy Roosevelt shirt if it's something in the city. In proper Midwest fashion, probably just my obnoxious need to look just slightly different but not enough to make me an outcast. Part of it though is definitely the weird slice many of us here fit into but isn't often recognizable in the outside world: left-leaning consumptive outdoor recreationists who'd much prefer a Saturday in a duck marsh than something in a thriving urban center. And when it comes to trapping and being left, there are dozens* us of! Dozens*! *nationwide
The Letterkenny comment could not be more spot on.... the concept of uniforms is perfect..... I was the Hun ting logo/2a t-shirt guy... now I am far more blend into the crowd... not because of a change in beliefs, more of a life change with a divorce.... in a sense I signed with a different team..... Great perspective, as usual
I am a hunting/fishing guide. I always wonder how to dress at the various outdoor events or film festivals. I want to "be one of them" I made a conscious decision several years ago to wear anything but "outdoorsy" clothes. This "put my mind at ease" I am 61. Amazing how I used to want to wear what would identify me as a member of the tribe.....
It might be the club you were in. Your experience is not mine. It might be your end of the Midwest. No doubt there are a few humorless soles around here (humor comes from "the humors" after all, and has the same root as humous, humility is of the earth). I won't fit anybody's stereotypes, but I do dress differently for different events. Only recently have I started wearing a ball cap (Orvis). Mostly you'll see me in a fedora regardless of the crowd. I just don't generally wear either indoors.
This is an interesting essay. It is surely something I've noticed, and something I wonder about. My "uniform" during colder months is usually jeans and a Carhartt hoodie. Not because I'm handy (I'm lucky I can swing a hammer without smashing my hand) - but because they're durable, warm, and comfortable. But, like beards (another accoutrement I currently sport, to the deep chagrin of my wife) Carhartt has become a lifestyle brand. As my friend --who works for a heavy machinery operators union puts it, "everybody wants to wear Carhartt until it's time to do Carhartt shit."
But despite the somewhat overlapping nature of the fashion, my age, look, ethnicity (if we're being honest), and my truck definitely give people impressions about me that often miss the mark, and I am similarly conscious about it.
We need to remember that sometimes the hicks and the skids unite against the degens.
Hank, what you are describing is nicely explained by Rene Girard's mimetic theory of desire. Luke Burgis wrote a book building on Girard's work, called "Wanting" in which he states that "humans don’t desire anything individually, entirely on their own, but mimetically—they imitate the desires of others, which causes them to pursue people, places, and things, even their very identity, based on what other people model as desirable." Fascinating stuff.
As a Canuk who lived for a few years in North Carolina (way back, when Jessie Helms was still a thing), working for a German immigrant to the US ... we definitely saw this tribalism. It was if the US replaced the class system of England (good riddance!) with joining and belonging to a club (church, foot-ball team fan, college alumni, coastal versus mountain BBQ eater, etc).
Sadly, this tribalism is an insidious barrier to participation. The enby person with piercings and coloured hair might be interested in hunting, but won't feel at all welcome in the traditional hook and bullet club.
It's nice being an introvert who totally misses social cues - I get to miss most of the harry eyeballs.
Spot on...So many times there are assumptions about what a hunter (or non-hunter) looks and what their political views are. Unfortunately, many conversations end before they can even begin!
Just wonderful! Thank you! Always my best read in the morning, first because of your thoughts/words, and secondly for the comments of other readers. So SO thankful for thoughtful, insightful and non-ranting!!
As always, a great read. I never think about it in the US, but don’t wear ball caps or logos when traveling overseas. Regardless, a smile goes a long way everywhere. My lesson in this came at a bar counter having dinner one night. I was having a beer and waiting in my burger when a group of bikers came in and took the remaining seats. The guy next to looked over and asked if I minded if he smoked while I ate; totally unexpected. I said no and we wound up shootin the shit over another beer. Life’s lessons come in strange ways.
Man can I relate - being a country boy in the Bay (Grey) Area of Northern California coupled with my living ( a VERY BUSY fundraising Auctioneer) puts me into this position weekly, as I might be auctioning at a Ducks Unlimited event Friday night and then an Autistic thereby Riding 501c3 Saturday night. I find that my standard outfit including Boots, Buckles and topped with a cowboy hat are very often scrutinized, from both factions. Even others donned in western wear cast a wondrous eye to my boots ( exotics?) or my buckle ( did he win that?)
Me? I restrain myself to my grandmothers advice - “son you can’t be all things to all people - so just be the way the good lord made ya”
But heck, saying THAT out loud May stir up the religious division, sooooo… it’s ok. Stay true
You “demand” that your readers NOT comment? Wow.
As a person also who crosses traditional lines, (Liberal gun owner, stay-at-home feminist, Tesla driving hunter) I get judged a lot for who I'm not, but I think being a square peg in a round hole gives one the ability to reflect on those lines. There is value in being witness to being judged; You know you're living your true life, following your heart, doing you, if you find yourself in places you don't quite fit. Being all of one kind of thing is super boring. Better to be a little of everything, or rather, part of many things. You're right that all we can do is try, and try again, not to judge. The "Us V. Them" mentality is still prevalent, and will remain so the more we embrace it. Important to practice (and repeatedly remind ourselves to practice) compassion and empathy.
I’ve experienced this from both sides. While the wrong uniform will automatically get you side eye (think the comedy club people at a sporting clays shoot), the right one gains an assumed solidarity. I’ve had people share some vile political takes just because I’m wearing a Beretta vest with an O/U on my shoulder. Opinions they’d have kept to themselves in another social setting, I hope. And they certainly are not the majority by any stretch. Having feet planted in more than one tribe grants a perspective I’d not get otherwise. And multiple perspectives are good thing, even when I vehemently disagree with them.
Prius driving, duck and hog hunter here. Husband to an Episcopal priest, and gun owner. Always looking for what connects us, rather than separates us.
I find myself dressing slightly counter to the crowd of the event I'm going to. More Cotopaxi if it's a hunting event, maybe a Teddy Roosevelt shirt if it's something in the city. In proper Midwest fashion, probably just my obnoxious need to look just slightly different but not enough to make me an outcast. Part of it though is definitely the weird slice many of us here fit into but isn't often recognizable in the outside world: left-leaning consumptive outdoor recreationists who'd much prefer a Saturday in a duck marsh than something in a thriving urban center. And when it comes to trapping and being left, there are dozens* us of! Dozens*! *nationwide
The Letterkenny comment could not be more spot on.... the concept of uniforms is perfect..... I was the Hun ting logo/2a t-shirt guy... now I am far more blend into the crowd... not because of a change in beliefs, more of a life change with a divorce.... in a sense I signed with a different team..... Great perspective, as usual
It is so hard to remember that people are people, regardless of their uniform, social status, career, etc., etc.
I am a hunting/fishing guide. I always wonder how to dress at the various outdoor events or film festivals. I want to "be one of them" I made a conscious decision several years ago to wear anything but "outdoorsy" clothes. This "put my mind at ease" I am 61. Amazing how I used to want to wear what would identify me as a member of the tribe.....
It might be the club you were in. Your experience is not mine. It might be your end of the Midwest. No doubt there are a few humorless soles around here (humor comes from "the humors" after all, and has the same root as humous, humility is of the earth). I won't fit anybody's stereotypes, but I do dress differently for different events. Only recently have I started wearing a ball cap (Orvis). Mostly you'll see me in a fedora regardless of the crowd. I just don't generally wear either indoors.
This is an interesting essay. It is surely something I've noticed, and something I wonder about. My "uniform" during colder months is usually jeans and a Carhartt hoodie. Not because I'm handy (I'm lucky I can swing a hammer without smashing my hand) - but because they're durable, warm, and comfortable. But, like beards (another accoutrement I currently sport, to the deep chagrin of my wife) Carhartt has become a lifestyle brand. As my friend --who works for a heavy machinery operators union puts it, "everybody wants to wear Carhartt until it's time to do Carhartt shit."
But despite the somewhat overlapping nature of the fashion, my age, look, ethnicity (if we're being honest), and my truck definitely give people impressions about me that often miss the mark, and I am similarly conscious about it.
We need to remember that sometimes the hicks and the skids unite against the degens.
Hank, what you are describing is nicely explained by Rene Girard's mimetic theory of desire. Luke Burgis wrote a book building on Girard's work, called "Wanting" in which he states that "humans don’t desire anything individually, entirely on their own, but mimetically—they imitate the desires of others, which causes them to pursue people, places, and things, even their very identity, based on what other people model as desirable." Fascinating stuff.
As a Canuk who lived for a few years in North Carolina (way back, when Jessie Helms was still a thing), working for a German immigrant to the US ... we definitely saw this tribalism. It was if the US replaced the class system of England (good riddance!) with joining and belonging to a club (church, foot-ball team fan, college alumni, coastal versus mountain BBQ eater, etc).
Sadly, this tribalism is an insidious barrier to participation. The enby person with piercings and coloured hair might be interested in hunting, but won't feel at all welcome in the traditional hook and bullet club.
It's nice being an introvert who totally misses social cues - I get to miss most of the harry eyeballs.
Spot on...So many times there are assumptions about what a hunter (or non-hunter) looks and what their political views are. Unfortunately, many conversations end before they can even begin!
Just wonderful! Thank you! Always my best read in the morning, first because of your thoughts/words, and secondly for the comments of other readers. So SO thankful for thoughtful, insightful and non-ranting!!
As always, a great read. I never think about it in the US, but don’t wear ball caps or logos when traveling overseas. Regardless, a smile goes a long way everywhere. My lesson in this came at a bar counter having dinner one night. I was having a beer and waiting in my burger when a group of bikers came in and took the remaining seats. The guy next to looked over and asked if I minded if he smoked while I ate; totally unexpected. I said no and we wound up shootin the shit over another beer. Life’s lessons come in strange ways.
Man can I relate - being a country boy in the Bay (Grey) Area of Northern California coupled with my living ( a VERY BUSY fundraising Auctioneer) puts me into this position weekly, as I might be auctioning at a Ducks Unlimited event Friday night and then an Autistic thereby Riding 501c3 Saturday night. I find that my standard outfit including Boots, Buckles and topped with a cowboy hat are very often scrutinized, from both factions. Even others donned in western wear cast a wondrous eye to my boots ( exotics?) or my buckle ( did he win that?)
Me? I restrain myself to my grandmothers advice - “son you can’t be all things to all people - so just be the way the good lord made ya”
But heck, saying THAT out loud May stir up the religious division, sooooo… it’s ok. Stay true